Holidays used to be my sacred time—twinkly lights, full tables, loud laughter bouncing around the living room. But somewhere along the way, something snuck in and started stealing the magic. Not a Grinch. Not bad weather. Just…screens.
I remember sitting at a family gathering, excited to catch up, only to realize half the room was buried in phones. Myself included. I was checking emails. Someone else was scrolling TikTok. Another was mid-text. It wasn’t even intentional—it was just default mode. That’s when I knew we needed to reclaim the holidays. Not with rules or guilt, but with intention.
So here’s how I did it—and how you can too. Let’s talk about setting healthy tech boundaries that help you feel more present, connected, and calm this season.
Why Setting Tech Boundaries Matters More Than Ever
1. The Holiday Fog Is Real
Let’s be honest: the holidays are already a sensory overload. Add in constant notifications, social media comparisons, and “urgent” work emails, and suddenly it’s harder to stay grounded. When tech pulls us in too many directions, we miss the little things—the laugh from across the table, the smell of cookies in the oven, the way Grandma still hums when she cooks.
2. Tech Isn’t Evil—But It Needs Limits
This isn’t about banning devices or pretending they don’t serve a purpose. Technology keeps us connected, especially if loved ones are far away. The problem is when our devices start running us. The goal? Be in charge of your tech—not the other way around.
3. My Wake-Up Moment
It happened at dinner. My niece nudged me and whispered, “You're not even listening.” She was right. I’d been halfway present, half-scrolling. That moment stuck with me. These are the memories we build. And I wasn’t showing up for them.
How to Create Tech-Free Zones (Without a Revolt)
1. Start With Meal Times
One of the easiest boundaries to implement is a “no phones at the table” rule. We tried this as a family one Thanksgiving, and suddenly everyone was more talkative, more playful, and—shockingly—more relaxed. Food tastes better when you’re not eating with one hand and scrolling with the other.
2. Designate “Phone-Free” Rooms
Pick one or two areas in the house where devices don’t come in. In our home, it’s the living room. We bring out board games, blankets, and hot cocoa. The phones stay parked in the hallway. That small shift made our gatherings feel warmer, cozier—more human.
3. Plan Screen-Free Events
You don’t need to announce a full-on digital detox. Just plan activities where phones don’t make sense. Baking nights. Snowball fights. Crafting ugly sweaters. We hosted a gingerbread house contest once and everyone was so into it, no one touched their phones for two hours. It was glorious.
Building Mindful Tech Habits That Actually Stick
1. Notice the Autopilot Moments
Start paying attention to when you reach for your phone. Is it during silences? Boredom? Stress? Once I caught myself checking my phone during commercials while watching a holiday movie—with my family. Not necessary. Now I try to stay present, even in the quiet moments.
2. Replace, Don’t Just Remove
If you’re used to scrolling during down time, find a swap that feels good. For me, it was picking up a physical book—or even just people-watching during gatherings. Turns out, your uncle's dramatic storytelling is better than any YouTube algorithm.
3. Prioritize the Digital That Feeds You
Some tech use does enhance the holidays. Like FaceTiming with a cousin overseas. Or playing a Spotify playlist during tree decorating. Keep what adds value. Ditch what drains you. That’s mindful tech, in action.
Leading by Example (Even If You're Not the Host)
1. Quietly Set the Tone
You don’t need to give a big speech about tech boundaries. Just…do it. Put your phone away. Ask questions. Be present. Others will notice. It’s contagious in the best way.
2. Create Fun Without Screens
Instead of saying, “Let’s not use our phones,” say, “Let’s bake something wild together,” or “Want to try that old board game?” When you fill the time with meaningful activities, the screens naturally fall to the side.
3. Make It a Group Challenge
One year, we did a “Tech-Free Tree Decorating Night.” Everyone left their phones in a basket. We laughed, listened to old holiday songs, and argued about tinsel (it was great). Making it a group thing made it more fun—and way less awkward.
What to Do When Tech Feels Non-Negotiable
1. Navigate Work Obligations Gracefully
If you’re on call or in a role where tech is necessary, set expectations early. I’ve told clients, “I’ll be offline during these hours, but available during this window.” That small boundary gave me permission to unplug—without guilt.
2. Schedule Digital Check-Ins
Instead of constantly checking your phone, build in a few dedicated windows. I give myself 15 minutes in the morning and 15 at night to check messages and catch up. Outside of that, the phone lives face-down on silent.
3. Handle the Tech-Addicted Guest
We all have one. The cousin who’s glued to their phone or the friend who can’t stop texting. Instead of calling them out, invite them in. “Hey, want to help with this?” or “Come sit by me—we’re telling stories.” Most people don’t realize they’re zoning out. A gentle pull works wonders.
Balancing Remote Connection with Real-Life Presence
1. Schedule Family Video Calls with Intention
Connecting with far-away loved ones is important—but it doesn’t need to dominate the day. We now schedule a set time to do one big call, instead of scattering mini chats all day. It makes the connection more meaningful and keeps us grounded with the people in front of us.
2. Blend the Virtual with the Physical
If you’re video-calling during dinner, place the device where everyone can see and talk, then put it away once the call ends. One year we set a tablet on the table so our cousins in another state could “join” us for dessert. It was sweet—but temporary.
3. Remember Why You’re Logging Off
Screens will always be there. The holidays? They’re fleeting. When you think about what you want to remember—the laughter, the clinking glasses, the warmth—you realize tech boundaries aren’t restrictions. They’re gifts.
The Answer Sheet!
- Why set boundaries? Prioritizing personal moments over digital distractions enriches holiday experiences.
- How to start? Establish device-free times and designated tech-free zones.
- Cultivate awareness. Monitor your phone habits and choose value-adding digital interactions.
- Lead by example. Inspire others through your mindful tech use.
- Balance is key. Manage tech use for remote connections wisely.
Real Life > Real Time Notifications
Reclaiming tech-free time doesn’t mean going full off-the-grid. It just means choosing presence over pings, connection over convenience. The magic of the holidays isn’t found in your phone—it’s found in burnt cookies, awkward hugs, and spontaneous dance parties in the kitchen.
So here’s to logging off a little more—and living a lot more. Your memories (and your screen-fatigued brain) will thank you.
